If your spouse has been suffering from addiction, you might start to place the blame on yourself. You might internalize his or her struggles and take far too much emotional stress upon your own shoulders as you try to fix everything on your own. It is important to recognize that addiction is a chronic and relapsing disease – it is not anyone’s fault, and it can happen to anyone. One of the most effective ways to stop blaming yourself and to begin working on your own emotional and mental health is by setting a solid set of personal boundaries. We understand just how difficult these can be to uphold – you love your spouse, of course, and if he or she asks for anything you want nothing more than to be there. However, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential – and doing so will help prompt your spouse to enter treatment sooner.
What does it mean to set healthy boundaries? Basically, doing so is the exact opposite of enabling unhealthy behaviors. For example, if your spouse repeatedly leaves beer bottles around the house, setting a healthy boundary would be saying something along the lines of, “I’m not going to clean up after you any longer. It hurts me that you don’t participate in the household chores.” That sentiment must be followed up with a clear-cut action – refusing to pick up the beer bottles, and taking care of one half of the household chores as you explained you would be. A professional therapist can easily help you set and maintain effective personal boundaries – simply call Pine Tree Recovery Center today and we will gladly point you in the right direction, connecting you with someone who can help.